thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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