Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
