I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
