As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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