I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
we should paint friendship bongs
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