I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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