Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
