i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
