dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
