Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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