Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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