So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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