Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
