Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
