I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
