I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
