Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
