if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
