Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.

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(813): View more from Florida

So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played

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(775): View more from Nevada

Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

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(503): View more from Oregon

If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.

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(585): View more from New York

She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.

(585): View more from New York

gtg, the cops are here

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(541): View more from Oregon

you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her

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