I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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