Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize