Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
