All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
