his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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