Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
