Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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