i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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