Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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