I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
