is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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