Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
