she woke up with a sticky ear
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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