I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Brb crying the tears of my youth
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
