My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
