fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
