either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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