yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
