Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
