i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
