I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You can't motorboat a personality
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
