Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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