If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
