Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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