apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
