i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
