So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
