you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i've created a new STD.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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