Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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