i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
