My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
