kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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