I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
