I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just puked most of my soul out..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
