He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
