I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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