if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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