So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
