The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
